A life that was!

Dedicated to all the lady-spouses at ISB who have enjoyed and endured this last year!

Nostalgic it is….
But this is not a totally unfamiliar feeling. I was getting nostalgic about the first few days at ISB when many firsts happened. First time I stepped into the atrium, first time I went in search of the bookstore, first time I searched for a rest room in the academic center, first time I met my neighbor P, first time I met someone who was having breakfast by herself and the conversation sparked immediate friendship. Many firsts and everything took me back by a year.

In about a week from now I am going to be out of here. This is also not an alien emotion. I felt it exactly a year ago while moving out of our apartment overlooking Hudson and while we took off from the Newark airport with no return ticket. Yet what is different about now is that we have always known that this day would come and exactly when it would come. We always knew ISB was a temporary phase of life, and that we would have to say bye-bye to the beautiful campus, refreshing night walks, wonderful studio and all the nice housekeeping staff that made our living in Hyderabad so much more pleasurable.

What we did not know was that the friendships formed years after childhood, years after school and college would still mean something and letting them behind was going to be difficult. It has been an amazing year of forging new friendships, friendships of a different kind, with the kind of people that are from an entirely different culture and geography. Strong bonds of friendships are usually formed at the tender age of innocence or the confused age of adolescence. IMHO, most of the adult life relationships tend to be more business like and judgmental. But here at ISB, I was made to rethink my opinion as there was something common amongst us all spouses, something unfulfilled and some shared pain that made a lot of us feel connected in some way or the other. It was the first time for many of us to have so many married women as friends. It was not an uncommon event to share our pretty personal qualms with other spouses here.

The common vein was mostly the overworked husbands and of course the famous mother-in-laws. I am not sure how lasting these relationships are, but I am certain its one of a kind that rings a special point in our lives back in time.

Lighten the stress!!

Scene: At ISB
Context: Placement season

Gal1: my husband found a job yesterday. Am so relieved!
Gal2: Cool congrats. Happy for you guys! My husband is not placed yet, it is quite stressful for us. Where are you guys moving to?

Gal1: Calcutta
Gal2: oh no!

Gal1: why? Calcutta is not so bad?!
Gal2: OMG! I hate Calcutta.

Gal1: why?
Gal2: because my in-laws live there….. that would be more stressful. Stress of not finding a job is manageable! You made my day!

Rest of the gals: ha ha ha
One guy in the scene: a face that says “don’t know where to look and how to react”

Travel-planalogue

Well, there is an upcoming travel plan. If everything goes as per plan,(well, we all have been taught to show reverence to nature when talking about the future :D) we will be one of the living witnesses amongst the ruins of Hampi. Yay!


ISB in all its glory of being the 12th best B-school in the world did its bit in being a great environment for the spouses on campus. May be if the ranking framework factored that in, ISB could be a whooping first- who knows?! Anyways, almost all our outings in Hyderabad have been with a bunch of friends. My two year old niece can count only till 2 and she can count how many times, my hubby and I have been out by ourselves :D The other times, our romance (?) has been graciously checked by our fond friends who love to hangout with us ;)

So Hampi is another such tour coming up! Apparently it is so ruined, that it can engage us for 4 days, but we would have to pick and choose the most ruinous parts to finish the scene in 2 days and 1 night. Wanna know another highlight of the trip? We are gonna have to walk a lot! Of course I am excited for A, his only overworked muscles are on the fingers thanks to keyboard and now he might just have to work other muscles too.

Can’t wait!

p.s. All our friends who love to hangout with us – we love you!

Merry Christmas From Hyderabad!

Under the star lit skies
Reflected off the moon lit pool
There is joy in the air

With Santa behind you
Tucking neat presents under the tree
There is joy in the air

Hubby honey baking
A Christmas cake
There is joy in the air

Darling kids singing
Christmas Carols
There is joy in the air

Happy families skating
On the sheet of white ice
There is joy in the air

Serene Sunrise
On a misty winter morning
There is joy in the air

Wish you a Merry Christmas!

Btw, In Hyderabad we have White Christmas!
The sun scorches you until you blanch white!

Memoir of R2I

How long is the blog due?!

ISB is beautiful. Hyderabad is enchanting. The growth I see around the city is remarkable. I am truly happy to back! Back to the city where the old and new live in harmony.

The many new malls that have been added to the landscape showcases the young money flooding around here. Stand in IMAX and you could be in Hong Kong, there is absolutely no difference. Wealth is splurged with no reverence. Right from Ratna Deep to City Central, goods and brands from the consumer country USA rule. Even the guarded secret of Durgam Cheruvu is highly commercialized. It is one rich city is a really poor country. Anyways, I have to applaud the corporation for having maintained clean parks, roads and safe pathways. Of course, my experience is highly limited to the “shuttle route” that ISB bus takes ok, that means that we don’t own a personal vehicle of any kind. Right now, not adding to the carbon footprint!

Life at ISB has been a delight to say the least. Except for the constant scare of snakes, and all kinds of wild reptiles, insects and may be even boars it is the place to be. The luxury of hiring a house maid! Wow! Without sounding condescending, I should say that this is the best part of being in India. While India is largely poor, I also have to admit it is largely lazy. Hence good workers in this part of India continue to impress me, right from the auto rickshaws, house maids to chai wala, they seem to have good work ethics and I really respect them for that. Touch wood.

My job here entails me to interact with a few people from the academic circle and it is quite an experience. The hours are awesome. The work profile is quite unstructured and the hence the scope of learning is way better than what an industry job offers. Besides, there are a zillion things on campus to do. Fitness workouts, Spanish classes, public speaking sessions, yoga, magazine publishing and photography – there is just not enough time to do all of these. Plus, I have made some dear friends that make the place even more endearing and enjoyable.

In all, exactly three months after I set foot outside the United States, I am not disappointed. While the emotional attachment to the first life I had as a home maker raises its head from time to time, I think I truly enjoy the transition back to my home country! There is definitely no regret! R2I is here to stay!

On a different note, I am glad India lost in the world cup! Hope this gets A off the couch!

R2I

In what seems like a whirlwind of time, the last four plus years has zipped past me in a myriad of eat outs, cooking, schooling, working, travelling, moving, losing, gaining and smiling!

I am not sure if the feeling of leaving the coveted United States of America has sunk in yet. Those days that unfolded with long lists of words from Barrons remain agonizingly fresh in my memory. Life got fast forwarded and the circle is drawn. I wouldn’t trade this experience for anything else in the world.

My experiences are truly enriched by the people I met here, the ones that reshaped the course of my life, the ones that turned me from being ignorant to informed, the processes and systems that made living seem so much easier on the surface and so much scary down under. The jobs that always swayed above quick sand, the economy that swelled and plunged, the hurricanes that left people thinking beyond, the elections that played politics, the winter that leaves one cold and numb – it all added to the multitude of perspective.

So many reminiscences flash down the memory lane, faster than I can consciously think. I can’t record the emotions that are running through me right now- the entire gamut from excitement, joy, poignant, uncertain, insecure and bloody shit scared. Sometime I am sane and think straight, but most times my emotions take the better of me and I get lost. I seek guidance from my sources of strength (read I pray like I have never before). And then I feel a little sure and certain, however I realize I am so human and falter again.

However in the grand scheme of things, I am definitely looking forward to the suspense in the life forward.

God, stay with me!

Hudson water landing !!

If you haven’t seen the news, here it is -

I was at work when I came to know of the incident. I felt weak and shiver positively ran across my spine. And then I followed the news and was in relief and in awe of the phenomenal rescue efforts. Time and again, New York does not fail to impress me. If such mishaps have to happen in the world, let it happen in New York, because that’s where the impact is minimal –what an incredible effort.


I am especially inspired by the pilot’s reaction to the incident. Supposedly he was calm and composed, took important decisions and maneuvered the plane to land on water, like that was his daily routine. Wow! When failure is not an option, don’t you panic? Probably not!?

I don’t know how you can commend the heroic efforts from the rescue team. I am sure there are atleast 150 families who bless them whole heartedly.

If you were on-board,

It’s quite a life-enriching experience for the common man on board. It’s like having a second chance to live. It’s like you had an eternity to reflect on your past life, before you were lunged out to safety. Lastly, it’s one reality check for us to think beyond economy, losing jobs, mounting mortgages, broken relationships, and petty fights and find that common ground with that entire dissimilar unrelated people in our society.

Again it happened in New York, in my backyard. NY inspires in ways more than you know!

One of my teammates at work remarked:

" I see everything, but I don't see everything"

I was intrigued by the profundity!!!!

I hate moving boxes !

We are scared of death, of marriage, of being parents, of growing old….
We are scared to move jobs, to move homes, sometimes even to change the wallet. When you are old, you would not even want to change your bed. Resistance to change is human and yet we grow old, have babies, get married and die!! – Hopefully not in that order!!

For some it is built into their sentimental belief system; sometimes, it is moving out of the comfort zone, change comes in all shapes and forms; sometimes it is physical, sometimes psychological, and sometimes just virtual and yet we all do.

Much of the history asserts we like changes in our youth, as we grow old; it becomes more and more difficult.

I in general look forward to change, but when it actually happens, sob sob ! :)

Recently one of my friends had written a blog on a 'common' name.
Is this common enough when I compare it with the flabbergasting originality of the Americans !

Think about MLK drives in the USA. Atleast one street connecting a interstate to a US Highway in every big town that I have stepped my foot in is a MLK drive. What about Vine St. ? I know in Cincinnati, there are two streets immediately parallel to each other atleast for a good 1 mile - and both are Vine ! Apparently one of them is short Vine ! Did I see Georgia in Eurasia, Was nt it the state south of South Carolina ?

Well, I know there are MG roads all over India - but thats just one example. I know atleast 10 Pine streets just between Oregon, Pennsylvania, New Jersey and New York. Does Lincoln / Broadway has to exist in every downtown?! What about Morristowns? what about Westchesters ? We lack any imagination and originality in naming our towns. And half the names are borrowed from Europe with the migration. There was once a friend at school and he said on the phone that he was in London..... I just saw him yesterday and he did not mention of any trans-atlantic plans and then I figure he is just 90 miles away in London, OH ! What are the chances you also find a Paris in a drivable radius from Cincinnati ! pretty good. There is one ! Now what about Berlin..... ! wow Berlin is 50 miles SW of Paris only in USA !

London, Paris, Berlin and Amsterdam should be found in half the states of USA !

and we dont stop here.... when I was TAing in my grad school, there were 3 Bills and 3 James - and all the three James had different names from their parents !

If you are talking about Karthik, Sriram and Murali, where do we put the Tom, Dick and Harrys !

Traveller IQ - Application on Orkut !

EQ Test

Your EQ is 120

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick! 51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese. 71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely. 91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that. 111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt. 131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin. 150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

Talk about addictions.
Addiction is the state of being enslaved to a habit.

Orkut sure is one such thing. For no particular reason, I quit Orkut almost a year ago. Here I am keeping my promise to this day. Well, there is really no sane reason to keep myself off Orkut. Call it a silly principle, a mulish resolve or simple adamancy that I possess a lot. Whatever it is, I definitely miss on a lot of gossips.

I have to depend on my hubby or my certain friends to keep me updated with what is up with the girl who my brother had a crush on in class VIII or the girl who had a crush on my hubby in class XII and so on. I am very outdated with who goes out with who! Other than gossips, it has also been a great way of keeping in touch with all and sundry ‘n sweet friends at school. Just a tiny scrap once a month, a wedding wish or a congratulations note on a new job or so will be great. I am not sure if and when I would return to Orkutting ways. I did not delete my account. It just reads – “Off Orkut Indefinitely”. It is still indefinite. I sincerely hope there is reason enough for my return and it turns out soon!!

Stay tuned!

There has been a lot of research in the measurement of intelligence amongst people of different races and backgrounds. As with any global research, we have conflicting reports, but there is something that everyone agrees on. The two big influences of a child’s success in later life are: biological parents’ intelligence and upbringing factors. First of all, what is intelligence? It could be the IQ score as measured by the famous 77 year old IQ test; it could be the academic grades; it could be mean income when you are 30; it is some combination of these. Many independent researches conclude that a minimum of 40% influence is attributed to intelligence in the heredity. The maximum genetic influence is 80%. Especially the language controls, reading ability and verbal power moves through generations. That is why; siblings reared apart though may have significant difference in success / general IQ always correlate well with each other in their language prowess. In general it is known, that Jews as a race score atleast 12-15 points more than the Asians who score atleast 5 points more than Whites who score atleast 10 more than the Africans. But the reason for these differences though genetic for most part and social and economic in part actually is exhibited differently across groups. i.e., the reason for higher performance of Jews over Asians is not the same as the reason for higher performance of Asians over Whites. Also child-rearing has a big influence on its success when it grows up. The biggest part of this influence is during the developmental years and hence the saying “Woman is behind a man’s success” necessarily refers to the mother rather than the wife :). It is the parents’ attitude towards the child’s performance that shapes the child’s future. When parents set high bars, children typically attain it than when they set low bars. Indians typically set higher standards for achievement (of course there are exceptions) than Americans and that is partly the reason for Indians’ better performance. Hence, a White child when raised in an Indian home that sets high standards for the child will outperform his white peers:). When parents set softer limits and encourage laziness in children (especially true with rich European families) the children perform worse as adults. Lack of breast-fed milk and premature delivery are also reasons that negatively impact performance. Undernourishment and being a witness to negative actions like riots, shooting, and parents’ fighting (including adopted parents) between the ages of 5 and 14 are big factors for low self-confidence and self-assurance as adults. Occupational success of parents, the feel-good factor that they emanate and the socio-economic status of a growing child play a key role. Inferiority complex developed as a child does not go away until he is able to prove to the world that he is also capable. They grow up to either being spend-thrifts in general or spend-thrifts in friends’ presence. The constant worry about what others might think gives them in to peer-pressure and negatively impacts performance.

Moral of the story: You thought I was going to say – blame your parents!
Nope!
If you think the upcoming generation will definitely marry a person of lower IQ caste, you are encouraged to adopt such children and benefit them so that as a race, they get better :)
p.s. If I sound like a racial person, I am not one!

A .doc on Apple !!!!

BBSpot says that ....








I don't have to be convinced. A good time pass for jobless souls.


Try it! - the OS
Try it! - the file extension