Rushing out
Empty thoughts
Familiar click
Throw the bag
Shut the door
Misty mind
Blacked out
Zoom and out
Swift Slammed
Shiver and sweats
And it was over
Showing posts with label ramblings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ramblings. Show all posts
Monday, January 10, 2011
Thursday, March 25, 2010
A life that was!
Dedicated to all the lady-spouses at ISB who have enjoyed and endured this last year!
Nostalgic it is….
But this is not a totally unfamiliar feeling. I was getting nostalgic about the first few days at ISB when many firsts happened. First time I stepped into the atrium, first time I went in search of the bookstore, first time I searched for a rest room in the academic center, first time I met my neighbor P, first time I met someone who was having breakfast by herself and the conversation sparked immediate friendship. Many firsts and everything took me back by a year.
In about a week from now I am going to be out of here. This is also not an alien emotion. I felt it exactly a year ago while moving out of our apartment overlooking Hudson and while we took off from the Newark airport with no return ticket. Yet what is different about now is that we have always known that this day would come and exactly when it would come. We always knew ISB was a temporary phase of life, and that we would have to say bye-bye to the beautiful campus, refreshing night walks, wonderful studio and all the nice housekeeping staff that made our living in Hyderabad so much more pleasurable.
What we did not know was that the friendships formed years after childhood, years after school and college would still mean something and letting them behind was going to be difficult. It has been an amazing year of forging new friendships, friendships of a different kind, with the kind of people that are from an entirely different culture and geography. Strong bonds of friendships are usually formed at the tender age of innocence or the confused age of adolescence. IMHO, most of the adult life relationships tend to be more business like and judgmental. But here at ISB, I was made to rethink my opinion as there was something common amongst us all spouses, something unfulfilled and some shared pain that made a lot of us feel connected in some way or the other. It was the first time for many of us to have so many married women as friends. It was not an uncommon event to share our pretty personal qualms with other spouses here.
The common vein was mostly the overworked husbands and of course the famous mother-in-laws. I am not sure how lasting these relationships are, but I am certain its one of a kind that rings a special point in our lives back in time.
Nostalgic it is….
But this is not a totally unfamiliar feeling. I was getting nostalgic about the first few days at ISB when many firsts happened. First time I stepped into the atrium, first time I went in search of the bookstore, first time I searched for a rest room in the academic center, first time I met my neighbor P, first time I met someone who was having breakfast by herself and the conversation sparked immediate friendship. Many firsts and everything took me back by a year.
In about a week from now I am going to be out of here. This is also not an alien emotion. I felt it exactly a year ago while moving out of our apartment overlooking Hudson and while we took off from the Newark airport with no return ticket. Yet what is different about now is that we have always known that this day would come and exactly when it would come. We always knew ISB was a temporary phase of life, and that we would have to say bye-bye to the beautiful campus, refreshing night walks, wonderful studio and all the nice housekeeping staff that made our living in Hyderabad so much more pleasurable.
What we did not know was that the friendships formed years after childhood, years after school and college would still mean something and letting them behind was going to be difficult. It has been an amazing year of forging new friendships, friendships of a different kind, with the kind of people that are from an entirely different culture and geography. Strong bonds of friendships are usually formed at the tender age of innocence or the confused age of adolescence. IMHO, most of the adult life relationships tend to be more business like and judgmental. But here at ISB, I was made to rethink my opinion as there was something common amongst us all spouses, something unfulfilled and some shared pain that made a lot of us feel connected in some way or the other. It was the first time for many of us to have so many married women as friends. It was not an uncommon event to share our pretty personal qualms with other spouses here.
The common vein was mostly the overworked husbands and of course the famous mother-in-laws. I am not sure how lasting these relationships are, but I am certain its one of a kind that rings a special point in our lives back in time.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Winter special !
It was a Saturday. I was working a 6 am shift at the computer lab; half asleep I was supposedly assisting the inane med-students in their attempt to turn paper notes into slides! Those labs in med school was built with least respect for people working with computers, or so I thought, recessed in the insides of concrete jungle after miles of corridors from the nearest exit.
Two days ago, I had just peeped out of my window to catch the first glimpse of snow. The fresh flakes that seemed to be in a hurry to reach mother earth welcomed the concept of winter in me. I was happy, I remember- all those childhood dreams of America seemed to be turning true, the land of snow and year-around Christmas! (Well, that’s what I thought after watching Home Alone as a kid) However we did not venture out and the snowfall was rather short-lived.
When my shift was over at 2pm, I was hungry and after a long walk outdoors, I found it was snowing, rather heavily. I knew the forecast had been bad and was well prepared and yet I think I did not quite expect it to be this heavy. It was not anything like what I had watched on TV or that, that was two days ago, not a pretty sight by any means, not when my tummy was growling. And I had a ten minute walk through the campus before I can reach home. Not quite sure, how to steer my route, I was walking on fresh now; deep down I was scared if I would skid and break a limb or two. I was scared more so because, I did not see anyone else out ‘walking’ in the snow and if I did fall, I was not going to be able to get up without help; I imagined that if I fell, I would slide down the MLK road, slide down all the way until MLK’s gradient leveled. That big jumbo leather jacket from India protected me and brought me home. Later I came to know that was the heaviest snow in Cincinnati in 16 years!!!!
Today, as I was walking down to work on the streets of Manhattan, braving the cold and the wind, some tiny harmless flakes of snow, for some reason, I remembered this first venture with snowfall. I smiled. Well, I have definitely begun to love winter in my brief stay in USA!
Two days ago, I had just peeped out of my window to catch the first glimpse of snow. The fresh flakes that seemed to be in a hurry to reach mother earth welcomed the concept of winter in me. I was happy, I remember- all those childhood dreams of America seemed to be turning true, the land of snow and year-around Christmas! (Well, that’s what I thought after watching Home Alone as a kid) However we did not venture out and the snowfall was rather short-lived.
When my shift was over at 2pm, I was hungry and after a long walk outdoors, I found it was snowing, rather heavily. I knew the forecast had been bad and was well prepared and yet I think I did not quite expect it to be this heavy. It was not anything like what I had watched on TV or that, that was two days ago, not a pretty sight by any means, not when my tummy was growling. And I had a ten minute walk through the campus before I can reach home. Not quite sure, how to steer my route, I was walking on fresh now; deep down I was scared if I would skid and break a limb or two. I was scared more so because, I did not see anyone else out ‘walking’ in the snow and if I did fall, I was not going to be able to get up without help; I imagined that if I fell, I would slide down the MLK road, slide down all the way until MLK’s gradient leveled. That big jumbo leather jacket from India protected me and brought me home. Later I came to know that was the heaviest snow in Cincinnati in 16 years!!!!
Today, as I was walking down to work on the streets of Manhattan, braving the cold and the wind, some tiny harmless flakes of snow, for some reason, I remembered this first venture with snowfall. I smiled. Well, I have definitely begun to love winter in my brief stay in USA!
Monday, January 05, 2009
Time waits for none......
so why are we bound in time?
Interesting it is….
To watch life unfold
Remain detached
To ones own self
And watch the ways
Days turn weeks
And weeks turn years
As millions entwine
Observe the perception
Changes with time
Metamorphosis of
Ideas and ideals!!
Listen to
An uncertain voice
Grope through
A cacophony
Discover in the dark crevices
Of your mind,
That you rather not
Rummage around
Find the calm
And the sanity
In that lonesome
Land of love
That only you
Can reach and react to
Interesting it is….
To watch life unfold
Remain detached
To ones own self
And watch the ways
Days turn weeks
And weeks turn years
As millions entwine
Observe the perception
Changes with time
Metamorphosis of
Ideas and ideals!!
Listen to
An uncertain voice
Grope through
A cacophony
Discover in the dark crevices
Of your mind,
That you rather not
Rummage around
Find the calm
And the sanity
In that lonesome
Land of love
That only you
Can reach and react to
Friday, October 10, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
I hate moving boxes !
We are scared of death, of marriage, of being parents, of growing old….
We are scared to move jobs, to move homes, sometimes even to change the wallet. When you are old, you would not even want to change your bed. Resistance to change is human and yet we grow old, have babies, get married and die!! – Hopefully not in that order!!
For some it is built into their sentimental belief system; sometimes, it is moving out of the comfort zone, change comes in all shapes and forms; sometimes it is physical, sometimes psychological, and sometimes just virtual and yet we all do.
Much of the history asserts we like changes in our youth, as we grow old; it becomes more and more difficult.
I in general look forward to change, but when it actually happens, sob sob ! :)
We are scared to move jobs, to move homes, sometimes even to change the wallet. When you are old, you would not even want to change your bed. Resistance to change is human and yet we grow old, have babies, get married and die!! – Hopefully not in that order!!
For some it is built into their sentimental belief system; sometimes, it is moving out of the comfort zone, change comes in all shapes and forms; sometimes it is physical, sometimes psychological, and sometimes just virtual and yet we all do.
Much of the history asserts we like changes in our youth, as we grow old; it becomes more and more difficult.
I in general look forward to change, but when it actually happens, sob sob ! :)
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Love all
I have always enjoyed sports.. for one the fervor and enthusiasm of cricket in India was so compulsive to be part of and secondly, for the spirit that brings us bonding together. This has been my primary reason for following ten years of cricket before I gave up around college time, for lack of that support and enthusiasm in my then friends. Then more than half-a-decade later, thanks to my dear hubby, I was introduced to American sports like baseball, football and basketball all of which are quite interesting. Of course topping the list would be THE football, followed closely by basket ball. So however silly it may seem, I think I have been driven more so by popularity than any individual preference.
Tennis always remained a second degree in my sports following, living through Steffi Graf, Agassi, Sampras, Henman (I actually used to follow him quite a bit once upon a time), and then unconquerable Federer (or atleast I liked to think so). But then as always, sports is such a leveler. Who would have thought the world number one Federer will fall in a period of one year from paramount Kingliness?! There was a time a couple of years back that the second ranked player was so back in line that Federer could lose like a million games in a row and still retain the first place for the next few months or so.
After an illness that cost the Australian Grand slam, he lost to Nadal in French (which is forgivable) and Wimbledon (which I still cannot believe). I started watching the Wimbledon final hoping to see a clean sweep after what happened in Rolland Garros to set the records straight, but Nadal was too good. What separates a genius from the greats is often a hairline space and it seemed so true. I remembered his words after the last Wimbledon finals (the five setter) that he wanted to gobble down (win) all he could before Nadal started winning. And it was the last time Federer could really reign over Nadal !
Even then, I was hoping to pay back Nadal at the US open which has never been his favorite. But the games leading up themselves proved too much heat that Fed-Express derailed. What has been his for five years in a row is not his anymore!?
No one in my time (not Agassi or Becker or Sampras) had held on to the spot for as long as Fed did… that we thought he would truly defy gravity and keep it eternally! But we were rocked to remind that nothing lasts forever.
Tennis always remained a second degree in my sports following, living through Steffi Graf, Agassi, Sampras, Henman (I actually used to follow him quite a bit once upon a time), and then unconquerable Federer (or atleast I liked to think so). But then as always, sports is such a leveler. Who would have thought the world number one Federer will fall in a period of one year from paramount Kingliness?! There was a time a couple of years back that the second ranked player was so back in line that Federer could lose like a million games in a row and still retain the first place for the next few months or so.
After an illness that cost the Australian Grand slam, he lost to Nadal in French (which is forgivable) and Wimbledon (which I still cannot believe). I started watching the Wimbledon final hoping to see a clean sweep after what happened in Rolland Garros to set the records straight, but Nadal was too good. What separates a genius from the greats is often a hairline space and it seemed so true. I remembered his words after the last Wimbledon finals (the five setter) that he wanted to gobble down (win) all he could before Nadal started winning. And it was the last time Federer could really reign over Nadal !
Even then, I was hoping to pay back Nadal at the US open which has never been his favorite. But the games leading up themselves proved too much heat that Fed-Express derailed. What has been his for five years in a row is not his anymore!?
No one in my time (not Agassi or Becker or Sampras) had held on to the spot for as long as Fed did… that we thought he would truly defy gravity and keep it eternally! But we were rocked to remind that nothing lasts forever.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Silence !
I have always enjoyed a certain amount of solitude. Silence in isolation provides me the ambient atmosphere for some of my best and refined logical thought processes, be it writing a poem, cooking a new recipe or working at office. I am able to appreciate and understand my thoughts better and hence able to align them in order to arrive at meaningful conclusions.
Have you felt in total comfort in silence in a group? I routinely felt that through my childhood. I would just be sitting there studying truly oblivious to my surroundings. Television would be intentionally off, I don’t recall having a phone; and everyone at home will do their own stuff at peace in absolute silence. I would only hear my pen scratch against the paper, sometimes the lone tea shop on the street will blare some music that will faint out across so many walls and doors. I can always count the ticks of the wall clock, hear the water dripping from the improperly closed wash basin tap, cannot ignore the slight hum from opening the fridge, until the cooker would whistle and announce the dinner time.
Even at college hostel though rarely, around exam times, we would all be sitting on the corridor with a bunch of books spread all around us, dimming light and scratching heads. It is a time when you hate the fact that we haven’t touched those books in months, love the fact that you would not have to touch it ever again and be in an unsatisfied yet acknowledged and time-honored frame of mind about the inevitable impending exams- Silence it is.
Today, when I sit downstairs on the riverfront, the calming timbre of the dashing water and it alone would be so soothing that no length or variety of ipod music on Bose speakers can truly provide.
I consistently listen to music on mp3s in the gym at dangerous decibel levels, definitely ignorant to the person next to me even if he was screaming at the top of his lungs. I know I am at the risk of NIHL (noise induced hearing loss) and yet…..
If I left the ipods at home, may be I will blog years later about the wonderful times I had in the gym - how the churning of the myriad treadmills made intonations in harmony with the rolling arm pulleys and ellipticals to produce some unvoiced melody !!
There is music in silence and I haven’t quite listened to it in a while.
Have you felt in total comfort in silence in a group? I routinely felt that through my childhood. I would just be sitting there studying truly oblivious to my surroundings. Television would be intentionally off, I don’t recall having a phone; and everyone at home will do their own stuff at peace in absolute silence. I would only hear my pen scratch against the paper, sometimes the lone tea shop on the street will blare some music that will faint out across so many walls and doors. I can always count the ticks of the wall clock, hear the water dripping from the improperly closed wash basin tap, cannot ignore the slight hum from opening the fridge, until the cooker would whistle and announce the dinner time.
Even at college hostel though rarely, around exam times, we would all be sitting on the corridor with a bunch of books spread all around us, dimming light and scratching heads. It is a time when you hate the fact that we haven’t touched those books in months, love the fact that you would not have to touch it ever again and be in an unsatisfied yet acknowledged and time-honored frame of mind about the inevitable impending exams- Silence it is.
Today, when I sit downstairs on the riverfront, the calming timbre of the dashing water and it alone would be so soothing that no length or variety of ipod music on Bose speakers can truly provide.
I consistently listen to music on mp3s in the gym at dangerous decibel levels, definitely ignorant to the person next to me even if he was screaming at the top of his lungs. I know I am at the risk of NIHL (noise induced hearing loss) and yet…..
If I left the ipods at home, may be I will blog years later about the wonderful times I had in the gym - how the churning of the myriad treadmills made intonations in harmony with the rolling arm pulleys and ellipticals to produce some unvoiced melody !!
There is music in silence and I haven’t quite listened to it in a while.
Saturday, July 05, 2008
Saturday, June 14, 2008
We always see men in top positions. Of course there are more women now than earlier holding powerful seats in the corporate world. What is disheartening is, a man thats successful in his career is probably successful in his personal life too. He has a family, many times more than one kid and a posh home in the a scenic locality and a wife thats takes care of the big family.
However more often than not, a woman who is successful career is often left with a couple of divorces or a stalemate single life or single parenting a couple of kids. Is it because men can balance work-life better than women can or is it because partners are more supportive of a husband's career than a wife's career? :)
So the empirical fact is that women have to work twice as hard (or harder) to get to the same position that she would be if she were a man or end up in a broken personal life. The intertwined and complex unwritten rules around the role of a wife, mother and more so of a daughter-in-law does not leave any room for spending time and energy shaping up a professional life – but at this point, I should also mention that women are simply, point black - more capable people.
From what I see, she is endowed with a special sense of balance that can be observed in all her actions. When she feels empowered her man is scared that she would not need him anymore. When the traditional roles played by a man of being a provider and protector are challenged, he is worried if he was becoming dispensable in the household. More often than not, it is not lack of time on her part that lends herself to broken relationships and ineffectiveness at work, but it is a self-conscious choice of trying of boost her man’s ego that makes her a contended (I mean truly satisfied) home maker or a simple supportive wage earner.
Haven’t we seen her cook elaborately for the family and yet eat the left-overs truly happily? She finds the best pleasure possible in feeding a hungry tummy in her husband and kids. It is delight to be a great cook and bliss to be appreciated for her efforts. She seemingly effortlessly observes fasts for the wellbeing or simply a promotion at work. Doesn't she encourage you to raise from rock bottom to cloud nine, even if it had to include many smooth lies?!
What about the selfless love and the sleepless nights? What about the hurried and tired she sweating in the kitchen to make your favorite bajji when you got back from work? What about the tired reproach when she picks up your dirty socks and used clothes from the restroom, verandah and half-eaten lunch boxes from inside your bag? What about she effortlessly handing over the exact same receipt that you were searching for two hours? What about creating a place that you would love to call home? She created the balance in you by balancing everything from her wishes to his, from her reasons to his and from her intellect to his lack of pluck.
I celebrate womanhood whether she is in the backyard or the boardroom for everything was a choice.
You know where to send the Thank You note if you have / had a lovely place called your home !
However more often than not, a woman who is successful career is often left with a couple of divorces or a stalemate single life or single parenting a couple of kids. Is it because men can balance work-life better than women can or is it because partners are more supportive of a husband's career than a wife's career? :)
So the empirical fact is that women have to work twice as hard (or harder) to get to the same position that she would be if she were a man or end up in a broken personal life. The intertwined and complex unwritten rules around the role of a wife, mother and more so of a daughter-in-law does not leave any room for spending time and energy shaping up a professional life – but at this point, I should also mention that women are simply, point black - more capable people.
From what I see, she is endowed with a special sense of balance that can be observed in all her actions. When she feels empowered her man is scared that she would not need him anymore. When the traditional roles played by a man of being a provider and protector are challenged, he is worried if he was becoming dispensable in the household. More often than not, it is not lack of time on her part that lends herself to broken relationships and ineffectiveness at work, but it is a self-conscious choice of trying of boost her man’s ego that makes her a contended (I mean truly satisfied) home maker or a simple supportive wage earner.
Haven’t we seen her cook elaborately for the family and yet eat the left-overs truly happily? She finds the best pleasure possible in feeding a hungry tummy in her husband and kids. It is delight to be a great cook and bliss to be appreciated for her efforts. She seemingly effortlessly observes fasts for the wellbeing or simply a promotion at work. Doesn't she encourage you to raise from rock bottom to cloud nine, even if it had to include many smooth lies?!
What about the selfless love and the sleepless nights? What about the hurried and tired she sweating in the kitchen to make your favorite bajji when you got back from work? What about the tired reproach when she picks up your dirty socks and used clothes from the restroom, verandah and half-eaten lunch boxes from inside your bag? What about she effortlessly handing over the exact same receipt that you were searching for two hours? What about creating a place that you would love to call home? She created the balance in you by balancing everything from her wishes to his, from her reasons to his and from her intellect to his lack of pluck.
I celebrate womanhood whether she is in the backyard or the boardroom for everything was a choice.
You know where to send the Thank You note if you have / had a lovely place called your home !
Pretty Woman
- Vivian: You're late.
- Edward: You're stunning.
- Vivian: [grinning] You're forgiven.
- Vivian: The stores are not nice to people — I don't like it.
- Edward: Stores are never nice to people. They're nice to credit cards.
"Pretty Woman" was a surprise hit with us. It is a simple Cinderella story of a hooker and the man in the white horse that sweeps off her feat. Some of the conversations truly portray the power and shallowness of wealth in a very sarcastic way. I could appreciate Edward's need for company more than anything.
As expected, Edward falls for the infectiously enthusiastic Vivian.
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Gibberish
As a kid, up until 10 or so, you were always looking forward to “Happy Birthday”. That’s how I called it. “Birthday” somehow did not convey the import of this very important day of my life, then. It was a day when you were supposed to have all the attention at school, wear the best dress, give away the best chocolates, sport the most stylish hairstyle and be in vogue. That was one special day when you will get away with not returning your homework, getting late to classes, having longer than permitted breaks and so on. I remember how I disguised a different day as my birthday if it ever fell on a holiday or an exam day. Exam days when people are busy and do not have the time to shower all the attention you want is not a good “happy birthday” day! New Year’s Day and Diwali also used to very special, because you get to wear new clothes hang out with those cousins who were the best pals.
Gradually, interest reduced. Diwali was just another day when you get to chit chat, see TV programs and such. It was still enjoyable, but not like the only time that you looked forwarded too. New Year’s brought back memories of the lovely last year and how I have not grown a bit mentally in the last one year! Never have I thought that the earth has completed one rotation of the Sun and now set for the next. Birthday only reminded of how old you have become. However since last year or so, any of these things stopped being a vintage date. They stopped reminding me of a bygone time period. Seemed like my calendar just continued into eternity without any periodical returns. What if no one discovered the periodicity and regularity of the seasons?
I would attribute two reasons for that. For one, nothing spectacular and worth remembering happened on these days. Secondly, lazy life is one big lump of time that dies a little by little without any kind of planning for the future. There is no future, present will soon be past and past is the only thing that remains vaguely as a memory. You won’t know the difference between a week back and a month back as both these times; you must have been a couch potato, with a bag of chips, staring at the ceiling fan, browsing endlessly on Orkut or laughing at FRIENDS. If this lazy and purposeless life continued for a long enough time, you will know what I mean – how you have lost track of calendar and dates and most importantly the return of the season as none was worth remembering!
Instead life must be divided into chunks of time based of what you accomplished or simply what your purpose was. If you have had that kind of lazy eras in your life, if you have cursed and blessed yourself at the same time for the elapsed time that went past unnoticed, you will understand what I mean!
I have and hence this blog.
Gradually, interest reduced. Diwali was just another day when you get to chit chat, see TV programs and such. It was still enjoyable, but not like the only time that you looked forwarded too. New Year’s brought back memories of the lovely last year and how I have not grown a bit mentally in the last one year! Never have I thought that the earth has completed one rotation of the Sun and now set for the next. Birthday only reminded of how old you have become. However since last year or so, any of these things stopped being a vintage date. They stopped reminding me of a bygone time period. Seemed like my calendar just continued into eternity without any periodical returns. What if no one discovered the periodicity and regularity of the seasons?
I would attribute two reasons for that. For one, nothing spectacular and worth remembering happened on these days. Secondly, lazy life is one big lump of time that dies a little by little without any kind of planning for the future. There is no future, present will soon be past and past is the only thing that remains vaguely as a memory. You won’t know the difference between a week back and a month back as both these times; you must have been a couch potato, with a bag of chips, staring at the ceiling fan, browsing endlessly on Orkut or laughing at FRIENDS. If this lazy and purposeless life continued for a long enough time, you will know what I mean – how you have lost track of calendar and dates and most importantly the return of the season as none was worth remembering!
Instead life must be divided into chunks of time based of what you accomplished or simply what your purpose was. If you have had that kind of lazy eras in your life, if you have cursed and blessed yourself at the same time for the elapsed time that went past unnoticed, you will understand what I mean!
I have and hence this blog.
Monday, September 11, 2006
Even if you were the Schumacher, pit stops are absolutely essential. However fuel efficient your engine is, whatever you use firestone or bridge stone, travel light and stop just as often as you need to. Mature drivers know that a quick explosion does not take them to the finish line, a calm breath at the pit stop does.
What is maturity?
Maturity does not come with the come with the number of races you have had, but with the number of races where you applied a bit of your mind ….
1. ability to control anger and lug the car without exploding
2. patience to finish all the laps before sighting finish line
3. willingness to pass up immediate pleasure in favor of long term gain
4. perseverance to continue the race even when you are the last
5. capability to face the media after a dismal performance
6. attitude to hold your head on your shoulders after a routing victory
7. holding back “I told you so” when proven right
8. not blaming the track or the media or the tires or the weather ….
9. resolute decisions in when to take your pit stops
10. yet.. hopeful of your next race
Success in a race is not Boolean
Being first or not
It is learning a step for your next ride
Come back intact
What is maturity?
Maturity does not come with the come with the number of races you have had, but with the number of races where you applied a bit of your mind ….
1. ability to control anger and lug the car without exploding
2. patience to finish all the laps before sighting finish line
3. willingness to pass up immediate pleasure in favor of long term gain
4. perseverance to continue the race even when you are the last
5. capability to face the media after a dismal performance
6. attitude to hold your head on your shoulders after a routing victory
7. holding back “I told you so” when proven right
8. not blaming the track or the media or the tires or the weather ….
9. resolute decisions in when to take your pit stops
10. yet.. hopeful of your next race
Success in a race is not Boolean
Being first or not
It is learning a step for your next ride
Come back intact
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Instance 1:
Where: X standard class room - History class in session
When: Sep 1995
Scene: The topic of discussion is reservation policy. The teacher is lecturing about why and how reservation policy was started in India. He is talking about why it is still in existence today – about the game of politics around it, about the reality of how well the policy is used or abused.
Now:
She can not seem to agree on how only a certain section of people could get critical benefits just by virtue of being born in a particular community. She does not find any reasoning pertinent to the present situation. She is not bothered about how it was ‘useful’ 50 years earlier when it was put in place, but certainly she feels it was a joke that had no benevolent relevance today. She feels cheated. At 14, in her animosity towards the Government, towards the people that make rules she hurls away her spite in words. She feels so powerless just to be taking on her teacher. After the class, she realizes her actions were futile and that her behavior was at best childish. At the end of the class, her teachers talk to her about her thought process, the truth in her reasoning, and the wasted energy in class. She is ashamed for her actions but she is convinced her logic and rationale was right. She certainly feels let down – a let down of an entire community.
Instance 2:
Where: Railway ticket counter, Mambalam, Madras
When: 1998 February
Scene:
She is standing in a queue that’s at least 10 people long before her and at least a 10 more behind her. There are almost 10 such lines. She has some work outside of that railway station. All of them are definitely busy or at least none of them are particularly enjoy the sweltering heat and the long lines.
Now:
Our hero, a well dressed 20-something man tries to push through the queue, get ahead of others in the line to get tickets. She gets extremely furious. Agreed, that he is not doing a heinous crime, but she feels cheated. A very daily misdemeanor that someone does everyday. But that’s no explanation. She cannot take it. She gets violent with words at him. At first, she says – “Hello Sir, It’s a queue. Please enter the line (showing the end)”. It does not seem like he is paying any attention. With a louder voice she repeats – “Hello Sir, Can you hear me? I said we are not fools here waiting in the line. Show some manners.” He turns around, makes some eye contact and proceeds with pushing the people again. She cannot take it any longer. She pats him on the back – grabs his attention and says – “Now will you please get away from here or shall I call the Superintendent of the station?” Now he is almost mocking at her. There are people buzzing in a hushed tone, some talking about her audacity and some trying to appease her and some trying to get him away. She reiterates “Move away, I am not going to let you get away with this”. Now there are more people talking. More and more physically making sure he is moved away from the line; many speaking ill of the man and many more trying to pacify the girl. Though he was gone, she feels unsure and jittery of herself. She could feel her blood boil, her tension mounting and suddenly she feels very conscious of herself. She talks no more until she cycles back home and recounts the episode. Everyone at home reprimands her; no one really approves her behavior. They teach her to be patient, to behave like a ‘girl’. She is just not convinced. She was sure that she would have felt worse had she let him cheat on her.
That is the real ‘She’, today her outward reaction may be different because of the certain cultural/civility influences, but inside she is still the same person. Patience has muted her, time has mellowed her; powerless sometimes, weak and incapable, she cannot take cheating in her stride. She believes, cheaters showcase scant respect for the cheated. There are people who cheat at all levels – right from the grassroots like the ones trying to jump the queue to the ones like self-proclaimed avatars that take an entire generation for a ride. It’s hard to witness the ones getting cheated, harder to get cheated and worst staying voiceless in times of such controversy. Conmen exist only as long as people are weak and fragile. Please wake up, recognize the cheaters and whip your share.
Where: X standard class room - History class in session
When: Sep 1995
Scene: The topic of discussion is reservation policy. The teacher is lecturing about why and how reservation policy was started in India. He is talking about why it is still in existence today – about the game of politics around it, about the reality of how well the policy is used or abused.
Now:
She can not seem to agree on how only a certain section of people could get critical benefits just by virtue of being born in a particular community. She does not find any reasoning pertinent to the present situation. She is not bothered about how it was ‘useful’ 50 years earlier when it was put in place, but certainly she feels it was a joke that had no benevolent relevance today. She feels cheated. At 14, in her animosity towards the Government, towards the people that make rules she hurls away her spite in words. She feels so powerless just to be taking on her teacher. After the class, she realizes her actions were futile and that her behavior was at best childish. At the end of the class, her teachers talk to her about her thought process, the truth in her reasoning, and the wasted energy in class. She is ashamed for her actions but she is convinced her logic and rationale was right. She certainly feels let down – a let down of an entire community.
Instance 2:
Where: Railway ticket counter, Mambalam, Madras
When: 1998 February
Scene:
She is standing in a queue that’s at least 10 people long before her and at least a 10 more behind her. There are almost 10 such lines. She has some work outside of that railway station. All of them are definitely busy or at least none of them are particularly enjoy the sweltering heat and the long lines.
Now:
Our hero, a well dressed 20-something man tries to push through the queue, get ahead of others in the line to get tickets. She gets extremely furious. Agreed, that he is not doing a heinous crime, but she feels cheated. A very daily misdemeanor that someone does everyday. But that’s no explanation. She cannot take it. She gets violent with words at him. At first, she says – “Hello Sir, It’s a queue. Please enter the line (showing the end)”. It does not seem like he is paying any attention. With a louder voice she repeats – “Hello Sir, Can you hear me? I said we are not fools here waiting in the line. Show some manners.” He turns around, makes some eye contact and proceeds with pushing the people again. She cannot take it any longer. She pats him on the back – grabs his attention and says – “Now will you please get away from here or shall I call the Superintendent of the station?” Now he is almost mocking at her. There are people buzzing in a hushed tone, some talking about her audacity and some trying to appease her and some trying to get him away. She reiterates “Move away, I am not going to let you get away with this”. Now there are more people talking. More and more physically making sure he is moved away from the line; many speaking ill of the man and many more trying to pacify the girl. Though he was gone, she feels unsure and jittery of herself. She could feel her blood boil, her tension mounting and suddenly she feels very conscious of herself. She talks no more until she cycles back home and recounts the episode. Everyone at home reprimands her; no one really approves her behavior. They teach her to be patient, to behave like a ‘girl’. She is just not convinced. She was sure that she would have felt worse had she let him cheat on her.
That is the real ‘She’, today her outward reaction may be different because of the certain cultural/civility influences, but inside she is still the same person. Patience has muted her, time has mellowed her; powerless sometimes, weak and incapable, she cannot take cheating in her stride. She believes, cheaters showcase scant respect for the cheated. There are people who cheat at all levels – right from the grassroots like the ones trying to jump the queue to the ones like self-proclaimed avatars that take an entire generation for a ride. It’s hard to witness the ones getting cheated, harder to get cheated and worst staying voiceless in times of such controversy. Conmen exist only as long as people are weak and fragile. Please wake up, recognize the cheaters and whip your share.
Friday, June 02, 2006
Monday, October 24, 2005
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Nature speaks
In Portland,
rains 10 months in a year.. slow and steady.. that no one ever rushes around.. there is no disruption in life.. rain seems to be pleading "slow and steady, yet persistent ways of life makes a the city green"
In Madras,
If at all it does, it does 3 weeks in year, hard down pour, not enough reservoirs to hold the water, much of the water is wasted out to the sea with in 10 days of rain
The people you see are all in a hurry that they want to get off rain, asap. The people of Madras show an unwelcome attitude to the rain, that rain stopped showing its face these days. Worst water scarcity in history, today.
Nature teaches human kind a lot of things in subtle unknown ways. Rain was just another example. In today's modern world, with people getting busier by the day, atrocities galore. People are in a forceful rush attending their business that they often forget that benefits are better in persistent and slower ways of life. I am not advocating easier lifestyles but just some styles that gives her the time to fathom whatever is happening around her. Persistence pays, not pressure. A political campaign- vehement and forceful slogans often preaching non-cooperation to the youngsters of tomorrow ; A Murder - a exhibition of forceful brutality; cheating and manhandling a next-door neighbor (http://sbcbrutes.blogspot.com. You must have read this via the Email forward carrying the import of this link. ) , are all exhibitions of man-made attempt to forceful invasion trying to achieve supremacy teaching unproductive ideas to the next generation.
Cramming in a fast paced course is as unproductive as rain in Madras. Taking the time for things to sink in, apiece and using the full span of life to learn is the way to go !
rains 10 months in a year.. slow and steady.. that no one ever rushes around.. there is no disruption in life.. rain seems to be pleading "slow and steady, yet persistent ways of life makes a the city green"
In Madras,
If at all it does, it does 3 weeks in year, hard down pour, not enough reservoirs to hold the water, much of the water is wasted out to the sea with in 10 days of rain
The people you see are all in a hurry that they want to get off rain, asap. The people of Madras show an unwelcome attitude to the rain, that rain stopped showing its face these days. Worst water scarcity in history, today.
Nature teaches human kind a lot of things in subtle unknown ways. Rain was just another example. In today's modern world, with people getting busier by the day, atrocities galore. People are in a forceful rush attending their business that they often forget that benefits are better in persistent and slower ways of life. I am not advocating easier lifestyles but just some styles that gives her the time to fathom whatever is happening around her. Persistence pays, not pressure. A political campaign- vehement and forceful slogans often preaching non-cooperation to the youngsters of tomorrow ; A Murder - a exhibition of forceful brutality; cheating and manhandling a next-door neighbor (http://sbcbrutes.blogspot.com. You must have read this via the Email forward carrying the import of this link. ) , are all exhibitions of man-made attempt to forceful invasion trying to achieve supremacy teaching unproductive ideas to the next generation.
Cramming in a fast paced course is as unproductive as rain in Madras. Taking the time for things to sink in, apiece and using the full span of life to learn is the way to go !
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Suddenly, I feel a surge of positive energy flowing, suddenly everyone seems right, everything seems just in place.. I want this moment to continue into eternity; a prolonged moment of satisfaction and comfort makes me realize the power of positive energy !
Every word uttered and every thought unuttered; every action that ensues in some way will change the perspective towards life at that point in time and hence the quality of life over a period of time.
Hence, the attitude and outlook have such a powerful influence in the material of the best being u can be. Clearer outlook, hence clarity in thought, hence decisive and focussed. Now u know what u want and hence there is a higher possibility that what u attain is what u wanted, because u have a direction to go. With better decision, u r more confident - At this time, u fall in love with urself. Being able to love urself is a good indicator of ur mental health. When u r able to love urself, u r more receptive to the love people around u offer. Now u have received love, u r more than ready to share it. The love cycle has a wonderful impact again on ur positive energy.
B+ve is my blood group !!
Every word uttered and every thought unuttered; every action that ensues in some way will change the perspective towards life at that point in time and hence the quality of life over a period of time.
Hence, the attitude and outlook have such a powerful influence in the material of the best being u can be. Clearer outlook, hence clarity in thought, hence decisive and focussed. Now u know what u want and hence there is a higher possibility that what u attain is what u wanted, because u have a direction to go. With better decision, u r more confident - At this time, u fall in love with urself. Being able to love urself is a good indicator of ur mental health. When u r able to love urself, u r more receptive to the love people around u offer. Now u have received love, u r more than ready to share it. The love cycle has a wonderful impact again on ur positive energy.
B+ve is my blood group !!
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