Mani Aji

My grand ma .. my cousins and I would affectionately call her mani aji. She lives with my cousins in Triplicane, Madras now. It is the house that we virtually grew up, though I actually only visited during my holidays.. She is my maternal grandmother.

Just as I think of her, many memories flow over.... Many many fond memories, today I am thousands of miles away from her. I speak to her may be once a month, definitely this soul whose every breath and wish is our well being deserves more than that.

Her life made her strong. She was born rich, can you believe, she was taken around on a parade, around the city on a palanquin, to celebrate her first birthday. Born with the silver spoon, she lost her father when she was 5. She grew with no siblings. But she had plenty of cousins who she would dearly call Anna. Her mom, thankfully was well off to bring her up. According to the custom, she was married off in style when she was only 13. She would recount, she was made to agree to the wedding saying " Adi Tissue Saree vangi tharuvanga di" .. not that she would know how to disagree with what elders told her.. And there you go she was happily married. Her first child, when she was 15, passed away with in 10 days of its birth. btw, that was my uncle. He was a blue baby. Then they discovered that she had high blood pressure. She has been on pills ever since. With heavy treatment of pills, she delivered four children, the second of them is my mom. But her blood pressure would not come down - till date. When she was 29, the worst thing happened. Her husband, my grand-father passed away peacefully in sleep. He was not known to have any illness. It was a total shock, the least expected. Its hard to imagine how she could stand though those times and successfully bring up four children, the eldest of whom was 14 when this happened. The youngest was a mere 5. A lady in the 30s, with hardly a 8th standard schooling, high blood pressure, no means of income and four children to take care of came out of her immense grief. She is a woman of extreme courage, faith in God and goodness epitome. She is the most successful woman I have heard / come across. To me, she is larger in life than the most intelligent people that walked this earth.

She stands tall .. in my mind now and always.

Her tribulations continued.. She was operated on umpteen times, her uterus, her gall bladder and her appendix. "Virtually, my stomach is empty", she would jokingly recount. She taught me to laugh at my troubles, smile at their smallness in comparison to God, to His strength, to His power and to my faith.

She followed a custom of lighting "Shravana Deepa". She would light one for each son /daughter/son-in-law/daughter-in-law/grandkids she has to take care of. A month typically has 2 Shravana Deepa days, when she would light these lamps for the well-being of us. Every time, a kid was added to the family, her son got married, lamp count would get incremented. Her beliefs and prayers go a long way into making us what we are. She would carry with her, this set of lamps when ever she goes out of town, to make sure she does not miss Sharavana Deepa. She has not missed one yet. If she is too busy, she would get up at 4 am and finish it before the world wakes up and looks for her help.


Every summer holidays, I would come to stay with her and we would make great friends. She will take me to the market in the evenings, to the temple and to the beach. We would read "Washington il Kalyanam" together. We would buy mango and make thokku. I would help her make 'vadaam' and stealthily eat the maavu kept for 'vadaam'. Then, we would walk up to the terrace to spread it out. It was a lovely experience. We will boil water, make Rasna and store it in the first fridge we had. We would go to Hindu High School to listen to "Katha" recited by some Shastri. I hardly remember their names.. but I remember enjoying the evening sitting in the sand and making hills. When there is an interesting scene in the story, like Sita being carried away or Kumbakarnan coming to the battle, I would get excited and listen with awe to the story. We would shop for flowers and she would make a long flower plait for me and make me a bride ! When I grew up, she respected my changing tastes, she would happily buy me a pair of Jeans at Rex Fashions, would not force me to have flower plait ( I miss it today though ). She got us (my cousins and I) permission to watch the India vs Pakistan Independence cup match played at Chepauk. This was my last school summers. Off to work, summer holidays stopped coming. :( I get to meet her less often than I would want to.


She is well informed, talks about politics, cricket, cinema, TNPCEE, F1, H1 and GRE. In ways she does not know, she has influenced me positively. While I was still at school and did not have any big plans about under-grad, I over heard her say to one of her friends, that I was a bright student and that she was looking forward to seeing me make it big. Not sure if I were even close to it, but it kindle my enthusiasm to study. So long, a lethargic student started to at least work hard. She would build contacts around our extended family with people whose sons/daughters are 16 and ask them to guide me !!!! Sounds interesting here ? She sure did. We have had hot debates on non-vegetarianism, alcoholism etc and have gladly lost. Today I am a vegan !!


I sure owe her a lot, I owe her more than what I have given her. The influences they have made on me is profound and irreversible, the power that she had taught me a lot of things. It taught me I am not lost until I think I am. And I can refuse to think I am. What a bold and accomplished lady she has been.. a spring of energy, love, tenderness, poise and will power. I thank YOU for the wonderful opportunity I have to be her grand-daughter.

Love you mani aji.