Nature speaks

In Portland,
rains 10 months in a year.. slow and steady.. that no one ever rushes around.. there is no disruption in life.. rain seems to be pleading "slow and steady, yet persistent ways of life makes a the city green"

In Madras,
If at all it does, it does 3 weeks in year, hard down pour, not enough reservoirs to hold the water, much of the water is wasted out to the sea with in 10 days of rain
The people you see are all in a hurry that they want to get off rain, asap. The people of Madras show an unwelcome attitude to the rain, that rain stopped showing its face these days. Worst water scarcity in history, today.

Nature teaches human kind a lot of things in subtle unknown ways. Rain was just another example. In today's modern world, with people getting busier by the day, atrocities galore. People are in a forceful rush attending their business that they often forget that benefits are better in persistent and slower ways of life. I am not advocating easier lifestyles but just some styles that gives her the time to fathom whatever is happening around her. Persistence pays, not pressure. A political campaign- vehement and forceful slogans often preaching non-cooperation to the youngsters of tomorrow ; A Murder - a exhibition of forceful brutality; cheating and manhandling a next-door neighbor (http://sbcbrutes.blogspot.com. You must have read this via the Email forward carrying the import of this link. ) , are all exhibitions of man-made attempt to forceful invasion trying to achieve supremacy teaching unproductive ideas to the next generation.

Cramming in a fast paced course is as unproductive as rain in Madras. Taking the time for things to sink in, apiece and using the full span of life to learn is the way to go !

Mani Aji

My grand ma .. my cousins and I would affectionately call her mani aji. She lives with my cousins in Triplicane, Madras now. It is the house that we virtually grew up, though I actually only visited during my holidays.. She is my maternal grandmother.

Just as I think of her, many memories flow over.... Many many fond memories, today I am thousands of miles away from her. I speak to her may be once a month, definitely this soul whose every breath and wish is our well being deserves more than that.

Her life made her strong. She was born rich, can you believe, she was taken around on a parade, around the city on a palanquin, to celebrate her first birthday. Born with the silver spoon, she lost her father when she was 5. She grew with no siblings. But she had plenty of cousins who she would dearly call Anna. Her mom, thankfully was well off to bring her up. According to the custom, she was married off in style when she was only 13. She would recount, she was made to agree to the wedding saying " Adi Tissue Saree vangi tharuvanga di" .. not that she would know how to disagree with what elders told her.. And there you go she was happily married. Her first child, when she was 15, passed away with in 10 days of its birth. btw, that was my uncle. He was a blue baby. Then they discovered that she had high blood pressure. She has been on pills ever since. With heavy treatment of pills, she delivered four children, the second of them is my mom. But her blood pressure would not come down - till date. When she was 29, the worst thing happened. Her husband, my grand-father passed away peacefully in sleep. He was not known to have any illness. It was a total shock, the least expected. Its hard to imagine how she could stand though those times and successfully bring up four children, the eldest of whom was 14 when this happened. The youngest was a mere 5. A lady in the 30s, with hardly a 8th standard schooling, high blood pressure, no means of income and four children to take care of came out of her immense grief. She is a woman of extreme courage, faith in God and goodness epitome. She is the most successful woman I have heard / come across. To me, she is larger in life than the most intelligent people that walked this earth.

She stands tall .. in my mind now and always.

Her tribulations continued.. She was operated on umpteen times, her uterus, her gall bladder and her appendix. "Virtually, my stomach is empty", she would jokingly recount. She taught me to laugh at my troubles, smile at their smallness in comparison to God, to His strength, to His power and to my faith.

She followed a custom of lighting "Shravana Deepa". She would light one for each son /daughter/son-in-law/daughter-in-law/grandkids she has to take care of. A month typically has 2 Shravana Deepa days, when she would light these lamps for the well-being of us. Every time, a kid was added to the family, her son got married, lamp count would get incremented. Her beliefs and prayers go a long way into making us what we are. She would carry with her, this set of lamps when ever she goes out of town, to make sure she does not miss Sharavana Deepa. She has not missed one yet. If she is too busy, she would get up at 4 am and finish it before the world wakes up and looks for her help.


Every summer holidays, I would come to stay with her and we would make great friends. She will take me to the market in the evenings, to the temple and to the beach. We would read "Washington il Kalyanam" together. We would buy mango and make thokku. I would help her make 'vadaam' and stealthily eat the maavu kept for 'vadaam'. Then, we would walk up to the terrace to spread it out. It was a lovely experience. We will boil water, make Rasna and store it in the first fridge we had. We would go to Hindu High School to listen to "Katha" recited by some Shastri. I hardly remember their names.. but I remember enjoying the evening sitting in the sand and making hills. When there is an interesting scene in the story, like Sita being carried away or Kumbakarnan coming to the battle, I would get excited and listen with awe to the story. We would shop for flowers and she would make a long flower plait for me and make me a bride ! When I grew up, she respected my changing tastes, she would happily buy me a pair of Jeans at Rex Fashions, would not force me to have flower plait ( I miss it today though ). She got us (my cousins and I) permission to watch the India vs Pakistan Independence cup match played at Chepauk. This was my last school summers. Off to work, summer holidays stopped coming. :( I get to meet her less often than I would want to.


She is well informed, talks about politics, cricket, cinema, TNPCEE, F1, H1 and GRE. In ways she does not know, she has influenced me positively. While I was still at school and did not have any big plans about under-grad, I over heard her say to one of her friends, that I was a bright student and that she was looking forward to seeing me make it big. Not sure if I were even close to it, but it kindle my enthusiasm to study. So long, a lethargic student started to at least work hard. She would build contacts around our extended family with people whose sons/daughters are 16 and ask them to guide me !!!! Sounds interesting here ? She sure did. We have had hot debates on non-vegetarianism, alcoholism etc and have gladly lost. Today I am a vegan !!


I sure owe her a lot, I owe her more than what I have given her. The influences they have made on me is profound and irreversible, the power that she had taught me a lot of things. It taught me I am not lost until I think I am. And I can refuse to think I am. What a bold and accomplished lady she has been.. a spring of energy, love, tenderness, poise and will power. I thank YOU for the wonderful opportunity I have to be her grand-daughter.

Love you mani aji.

Life after spamming !!

It seems like ages since I got some actual written email on my inbox.. My friends around the world have become that busy that they can manage forwarding spam emails but not write a line of their own.. well, I am one of them too. Its been ages since I wrote one too.. Suddenly, this saturday afternoon, post lunch, post an hour long warm bath, when there was nothing on TV except easterman color movie, I thought I would 'write' email to someone.... As my thoughts go on, I pick my laptop and click on 'Inbox' ..... and there I see an email... well it looks like a 'written email' -- shorter subject and definately not I spam forward I thought....

It read
Sangita Singh Hello Preethi Tue 09/27 6k


wow ! I thought and opened it..

It read

Hi Preethi,

Long time no news. how are you ? I am doing very good. How is your new life? How is work? When are you coming home? We have a lot to catch up on. Just as I write this, I figure that we have almost lost contact off late. In fact, I searched through my old diaries to get your email. Chal, I want to tell you that I have changed my name, as it reads on this email.

keep in touch,

take care ..
cheers,
Sangita

wow !! What a personalised email. But the saddest part is I dont know who is the person who has changed her name to Sangita Singh now. Did she change her first name ? What was it before? or was it the last name that she changed ? Did she get married ? I know some 4 'Sangeetha', with who I am in regular conact. Do I really know her ? or is this, just the newest colour in spamming.. No it really looks like an email addressed to me..

well.. I am waiting for a reply.. Any Sangita Singh reading this blog, let me kno, if you are the ONE..

Labor Day weekend

Being "our" first long weekend, (after being married) A and I spent it in a rather special way .. in his university town, Corvallis @ his friend's place. After a special dinner cooked by his Bachelor friends, I got to ride cycle err... bike after a span of 7 years.. That felt great and that was just the beginning.. Then it was cards time.. For about a hour and a half, we were blissfully engaged with it, with A accumulating A-spade, A-Hearts, A-Clubs, A-Dice and K-Spade until ....... To Him, 8/52 cards went this way and just 5 came via random distribution !! We thought that was unfair and switched gears to plain lacha...... Went on and on and on and on till 4 am !! It is easily one of my longest evenings .... Topics ranging from college fun, which payyan see which ponnu, love marriage vs arranged marriage, Ashes, US open and back again to trashest of talks..

Late morning, the next day, hogged at Izzys - Pizza bar, Salad Bar, Dessert bar and Fruits Bar .. was really too much worth the money .. that I could hardly walk to the car, bend down and make to the inside of the car!

Indeed a fun way to spend a weekend .. right?

I have donated blood just a couple of times earlier and it feels so good after u r through. Feels like u r the reason for a couple of men walking thsi earth.. Moreover, my mom went thro' major complications in pregnancy (when i was born) that she had to use a few bottles of blood donated by good-hearted men 25 years ago, for survival. I feel deeply indebted to them.

Today, I wanted to donate blood after a long time. I also had the opportunity to do, atleast I thought so. I had registered with Red Cross, as they are camping here, at my workplace. Sadly, for a silliest of reasons, I was not allowed to donate blood today. The reason stated : I had travelled to India in the last six months. What the heck? So what ? Just because parts of India was affected my Monsoon, everyone in the country is not affected by Malaria. I want to call it Racism.. Why did the worker from Red Cross had to cite such a reason to deem by blood undonatable. It sickens me.

Earlier, while I was at college, my blood was refused too. The reason then was that I had low levels of Heamoglobin. It took me a couple of days to digest that fact itself.. but I made sure that my Heamoglobin levels reach the right levels so that I could donate, and I did. Ever since then, I have never had complaints about low levels of Hb.

But today, ....

But we still have to fight this way in the daily turmoils of a foreign country.... because we are here for a living in the US of A.

Disheartened,
Preethi

This Day That Age .. oops .. Seems like ages..?
This Day That Year !!

I landed in the US of A this day last year. In this one year, a lot of things have happened in my life.... Life suddenly is more serious and more fun !! I met the man of my life, got engaged and got married !!!! :)

Whatever this US had done to me ?! ;-)

Suddenly, I feel a surge of positive energy flowing, suddenly everyone seems right, everything seems just in place.. I want this moment to continue into eternity; a prolonged moment of satisfaction and comfort makes me realize the power of positive energy !

Every word uttered and every thought unuttered; every action that ensues in some way will change the perspective towards life at that point in time and hence the quality of life over a period of time.

Hence, the attitude and outlook have such a powerful influence in the material of the best being u can be. Clearer outlook, hence clarity in thought, hence decisive and focussed. Now u know what u want and hence there is a higher possibility that what u attain is what u wanted, because u have a direction to go. With better decision, u r more confident - At this time, u fall in love with urself. Being able to love urself is a good indicator of ur mental health. When u r able to love urself, u r more receptive to the love people around u offer. Now u have received love, u r more than ready to share it. The love cycle has a wonderful impact again on ur positive energy.

B+ve is my blood group !!

Mom,

I must have listened to u..

U told me to learn Karnatic Music when I was 8
I thought it was fashionable to say "I wont"

Despite ur best efforts I won my game of ego..
and I ended up not learning it

Today, I repent ..
Wish I could sing aloud..
Wish I could sing my heart out..
Wish I dinn have to carry on with the heaviness in my heart ....

Wish it was "Kurai Ondrum illai, malai moorthy kanna"

~ Realization thats late by a few years, To be Precise, 16 years ~
I promise to listen to u in every bit of detail, now on.

I live on the ninth floor of a 14 storey building. The apartment has a balcony that looks out towards the city. I have lived here for the past 10 months now.

However I never realized until today that the balcony made a wonderful piece of scenic and pictureque view point. I have always been accused of spending 95% of my non-sleep and non-class hours on the phone. Well, no one actually accused me. Tis just that I have enjoyed being online! Nothing has changed now than the realization of the fact that being on the phone in the balcony rather than in the bed behind the comforter would probably be more exciting !!

If I were Wordsworth, I would pen a poetry abt the scene. All green, ever extending blues, no traffic and a panoromic view of the world in its entirety.

Sadly, that I am not wordsworth, I stop here.

With the list of things that are yet undone......

Draw sequence diagrams for an assignment due tommorrow
Draw class diagram for a project thats due tommorrow
Grade 100 odd papers
ERP project thats due a long time later - 3 more days to go
EBIZ project - behind by just 2 weeks
Mrinalya Project - behind by just a month !

To top the academia,
"Collect addresses so that I can post the wedding invitations",
"Go to Kroger and Do Some HAVE-TO-DO shopping for the weekend retreat !"

The next week is going to be hectic, with prof meeting, beating and slacking !!:) Am I beyond repairs? The irony of the situation is that I am not too bothered about any of the above mentioned 'to-do's.

Lethargy and laziness has built into my system so much that I would probably miss it if it chooses to bid adieu. So it stays on and I stay put on blogger world rather than start even with one of the action items

As happy and Smiling :~: as ever

One of my 'da gang' friends is getting married today. This post is a tribute to his marriage, to the couple, toast on our friendship and a note to say "Wish u a great life ahead"

Nalam vazha ennalum en vaazhthukkal
Tamizh koorum pallandu en vaarthaigal

100 varusham indha maapliyum ponnum dhaan
peru vilanga nalla vazhanum !

Little would the couple understand the meaning of the above verses.

Yes, we are a group of friends from diverse cultures that found a meeting point in the name of Oracle, when we joined the company on the 29th April 2002. For most of us, it was the first job, high expectations, honey-moon period in a company paid guest house and a team building experience that brought us into a close-knit group of well mannered, mature friends who are again now seeking different experiences in different parts of the world.

Yesterday, I had been to a 'party' party, where people expected me (and some of my friends) to actually party which we dinn know how?! The day before the hosts of the party had held one for the undergrads where those kids seems to have made a mess of a place. And we the graduates were well-behaved which was puzzling for the hosts. Part of the reason is probably the fact that most of us were from a low-profile background that kept enthusiasm of the real 'party' folks damped too. Ideally, it musy have been the other way round, the real party folks egging on the others to perform (:p ;)) , energize and party.

Yours truly is a vegetarian and doesnot mind eating anything under the sun under the belief that what she is eating has no meat. The moment she knows that something contains meat, no one can make her have it - come what may.

I noticed a fellow me who walked across the buffet table, looked at the different platters and moved on and soon he found himself at the end of the buffet table and the plate was empty. And there was potato chips at the end that he could finally pile on into his plate. :)

Considering the number of vegetarians in a typical party, I would vouch to have a few veggie dishes that she can mouth. In the next year's party, its gonna be a treat from yours truly in preparing a vegetarian meal section. By that time, I hope to be an expert cook !

Fine, now the scene change. You find a bunch of guys playing soccer. I am not a big player of soccer but would have loved to try my hand (sorry leg) at the game. What kept me at bay .. Well, I hate to admit it was the fact that there was no other 'girl' who could play. All the other girls were chit-chatting and so was I !:(

I spent 34 bucks getting there! Thankfully, one of the kind-hearted professors offered to drop me back. Thank You sir. Thank You party for a few facts that quite threw me off like the style of the outfit to the lifestyle of a Indo-American family !!

Long live partying !!

May 22 2005 - Once again, I created the blog

I have had a perpetual desire to start a blog and begin blogging. However it required a much stronger drive that I today (hopefully) got by reading my roomie's writing escapades.

I would owe u a thank you note if this materializes into a regular blogging window. Wait on the timeline until then !

Now that I have started, I have 1001 scenes, reaons, incidents, stories and anectodes that I want to write about. But I wonder if one of them will entify into a BLOG ENTRY.

Dont cut things short !!

Scene: A bunch of people in a general conversation. Three students and two professors.

A New Topic: What was the daughter of one of the professors doing !

Past Info in the group: She was looking to join an under-grad school. Which school was the question

Professor Says:
She is going to Wash U.

Thunder burst out laughing !!!!!
She was just going to the 'Washington University, St Loius", which was universally said and understood as "Wash U"!!!!

The truth of the matter is these days, everything has an abbreviation.. Ther is no time left in the world to speak every word in its details. And once in a while, the sentence parts of verb and noun, subject and predicate fall in such a precise place that the whole sentence is mind-blowingly ....

Does life suck ?

When something sucks, it saps your energy and undermines the quality of your life. It makes you feel smaller and wish you hadn't participated. It sabotages your joy and you walk away feeling crummy. When it comes to your life sucking, you cant just walk away from it. If your life is getting in your face, you might want to know why, so you can do something about it before it gets worse. As you face and plug each hole, you will transform every challenge into a gift.

Together we can turn tragedy into triumph and make it all a win. You are not a victim, you are a powerful creator. You can make the changes in your life that will get you the results you want. I guarantee that if you practice the principles you learn here, your life will change for the better. Plugging one leak at a time. Along the way, you might even fall in love with yourself.

Unsucking your life is an inside job. You do not need to import power, for you were born with it; you just need to plug the holes in your bucket through which it is leaking. The quest is about peeling away the lies and illusions you have been told, and went on to tell yourself, that have kept you living smaller than you deserve. When you do, you will be amazed to realise how much you have settled for. Then you will have little patience for halfhearted living and reclaim your right to live from choice rather than default.

Any experience that leaves you feeling empty, less-than, or needy does so for only one reason: You entered into it feeling empty, less-than, or needy. The illusion is that relationships will take away the pain that keeps you feeling small; the reality is that relationships magnify the pain that keeps you feeling small. And yet there is a gift in the process: you remember that the source of your strength is inside you. When you elevate others at your expense, nobody wins. When you source your life from inside out, everyone wins.

- as said in Times of India -

Round is the shape!

Did Megellan know that the earth was round before he discovered it.?
Do all us of us know that life on earth(as if I had a choice to choose Mars) is round too!?

Life comes as a round.. a circle that has no beginning and no ends.. c'mon thats old philosophy.. but its new realization.. a new discovery of its purpose.. and a new idea to feel the relation!

But does the circle have the same radius everytime u travel around? if they were not, how do u jump between the concentric cirles, no its not geometry.. is the period of jump a high or a low? as u live farther away from the center, u get a better perspective of the world.. which means your granny is so much more better off understanding life than u .. How often do u realize and buy it!? Understanding Software code and understanding life .. are they inversely related.. nay.. they r jus not related!

The joy is not moving away from the center sooner to get a better view.. The fun is in experiencing the view from every possible perspective, direction, angle and relation. As u move further .. there are times when u want to live by to ur soul.. and u realize that the soul is at the center of the earth and that u r jus too far .. and there is no road connecting the two. ..... Now u have to maneuver ur way to the center.. and this path is nor a free ware.. nor is it a licensed product available for distribution. It is when u need to learn the language, code, and test urself thro' it.. a real life beta testing!!

I can go on and on.. but the gist is.. Follow ur heart and not ur head.. Heart travels thro every path.. and teaches you to live and love every experience.. And it is the heart that will take u back to the center too.. not the head.. The Power of .. change.. The power to change.. the eternal truth, the guiding factor, ur God .. its all in the heart..

Enjoy every moment! Enjou ur rambling thots!

My Knight in the Shining Armour !

the dating period.... the getting-to-know period.... These are typically not well known in the place where I come from.... The way it works is see the guy for a few minutes, have a not-so-private conversation for some 30 minutes.. It either works or does'nt at the end of it !

However for us, its been a little different. No very different..

My guy is no knight .. no armour of course ! no question of a non-existing-thing shining?! Yet to me, he is going to mean the world to me.

Welcome to my world my Knight!

Geography Teacher!

While I was reading my previous post, I realized that my Geography mam deserved a post too !

This is how it all happened.. shh.. I am still unable to retrive her name from my mammoth database. I vaguely remember now.. I think she was called Vaijayanthi.... We were Eli/Poone in sixth class.. For some reason, I used to be terrified at her.. She used to be the only homosapien who could make me pee in my pinafore .. well while I was 10 then.. :)

Every .. when I say every, I mean it.. EVERY class .. EVERY day, ANY damn question she asks, I would stand up and and thats it.. The whole class would know that was the end of the lecture that day.. I mean the Geography lecture.. From then on, it will be a personalized lecture directed at my stupidity, indolence, temerity to maintain tight lipped ( I was truly terrified, no one knew? ) and dumbheadedness.....

It went on that way until the end of that year.. Seventh class, thanking Heavens, I was transferred to a different school.. I was just too happy to leave Madras, courtesy-Vaijayanthi..... This phase proved transient when I had to return to the same school for eighth std.....

Every being in the school looked at me as if I had just landed in an Alien suit from Mars.. A confused look that said, this face looks unfamiliarly familiar.. I was the only 'new admission student' who already knew others in the class.. So I was in the middle of nowhere.. I could neither identify with new students nor with the rest of the class, for I was weird to them to return to a class, when they thot I had gone (forever)..

Come quarterly .. Go Vaijayanthi.. and the rest is history !

As I write this, I wonder ..... The coming of adolescence and terrified behaviour.. Yeah ! Science made me bad, If I ever were ! I became good, defying Science!!!!

Tsunami ? Marina ?

Tsunami .. who? oh that guy about whom my geography mam tried to make us understand and we never bothered to .... ? way back that was .. ten years down the memory lane..

oops! I wanted to mention that teacher's name and my thoughts are searching the directory and cannot retrive it:) .. I remember she got married and left for Gulf when we were in eighth class.. We were just entering teens then.. that we created drama about her leaving the school.. well, back to tsunami.. We were asked what it meant in the Quarterly Exam that year.. and I missed my centum in Geography because I dint know who, rather what it meant ?

By the time we were back in school after the break, many things had happened in my life ( deserves a blog of its own .. including my first solo trip by train!!!!) .. that I started cursing myself for missing that centum.....

Tsunami...... I cursed it then.. and fate had it curse my lovable Madras now........ :(

I havebeen timewarped with Madras and its times..... How can I ever forget
.. the evening rides to the beach when I was only 5
.. the way I used to pester my dad to buy icecream and nuts for me !!
.. the way I always got confused between Clock Tower and TV tower ..
.. the way my dad and his patience taught me to tell them apart after an year
.. the way I broke my teeth when I fell off my tricycle on a sunday evening ..
.. the morning walks to the beach when I was living with my Aaji
.. the jogging schedule that would not last for more than 3 days in a row!
.. the molagaa bajji
.. the never-to-happen Marina Swimming Pool !
.. the slides that were up for a while..
.. the family game of throw ball when I was 16.
.. another family game of kola kolaya mundhirikka when I was 16 ..

wah sweet sixteen !!!! With such memories of Madras and Marina, my heart skipped a beat when I heard abt the tsunami at 2:00 am EST .. Living thousands of miles away, I realized that I am immortally tied to 'U'..

Hundreds of ppl of my kind .. for walk/cricket and gaming in the December break.... have gone forever ..... May ur soul rest in peace..

Sachin, the little "genius"

~! With due regards to the creator of this piece !~
Kudos to Sachin for battling and fightin off a torrid last session inMumbai...

Coming at 11/2, and immediately under pressure, the little "genius"decided to play off the rest of the day (around 25 overs projectedinitially) and save his wicket for a better day...Scrathing around with the confidence he has been having in the last 6test innings, he firmly avoided the ignominy of getting run out for aduck. He tapped the ball to the off side and set off for an improbablesingle (lucky for him, Rahul responded since Sachin was no meansGanguly) and was half way down the pitch when his bat came between theball and the stumps. He eventually slipped and fell awkwardly into thecrease, and cheers pounded the stadium! Sachin was off the mark!!

Later he managed to see off some excellent bowling of McGrath andGillespie by leaving outside off, ducking, padding, and edging.. It wasone of those days where he had all the luck to go with his magnificentform, that the edges fell short of the slip fielders, and the umpireswere intimidated by his sheer presence.

Tendulkar decided to pad-off a perfect McGrath incutter, coming straightto crash on to the stumps, and fortunately the umpire Rudi Koertzen wasbored giving LBW for Sachin these days, that he thought of not giving inthis time. Sachins face said it all. The master batsmen, the littlemaster, did not even have the courage to look at the umpire, because heis so sharp to realise he was lucky. Frustrated McGrath walked awaythinking it would just be a matter of time..It was not to be..

Not many would realise the value of 2*(31) innings Sachin played lastevening, but I believe he would rate it high amongst the toughestinnings he has ever played.

Kudos to Sachin, fighting for India's pride and self-redemptiom!